


Myself In You

by othisredding



Category: GOT7
Genre: First Time, Friends With Benefits, Nonbinary Character, Other, also implied yugmin?, basically they both have a thing for yugyeom and it comes up, implied yugbam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 19:23:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8502364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/othisredding/pseuds/othisredding
Summary: Bambam and Jimin decide to share their first time together over a weekend.





	

**Author's Note:**

> SO wow. I've wanted to write queer bffs BamMin forevverrr and I finally did and well. I hope you enjoy it. Cause basically I have plenty of anxieties about virginity and all that jazz and apparently the only way to get those out productively is to write about Bam and Jimin trusting each other enough to embark on this little journey together. 
> 
> ABOUT RATINGS: I went with mature but in the third section there is some description of sex a-la fingering. It's not super explicit but please let me know if you feel it'd be better to up the rating for future readings.
> 
> Oh yeah, and just fyi Bambam uses they/them pronouns.

"How are you feeling?"

Jimin closes her eyes as Bambam runs their fingers through her hair, carding her bangs to the side. She usually doesn't like her bangs pushed to the side, it makes her face look too round (not that there's anything wrong with her round face -- she's taken great pains and plenty of time writing messy poetry to feel good about her plump cheeks and the little pouch under her chin) but it makes her look young and feel young and if there's one thing she knows for sure--

"I'm okay..." She hesitates only because she needs time to do a real litmus test. Long, long ago she and Bambam had a silent agreement that when either asked the other 'how are you feeling' they would be honest, they would be real about it. "I'm okay," she confirms, though, because she realizes it's true.

“Does it hurt any?”

Jimin furrows her eyebrows, unused to hearing Bambam speak so seriously. “I mean...a little bit but not like, painful hurt? I don’t know.” Bambam looks concerned at that answer though, so she quickly amends, “Bam, I promise I’m fine though, nothing feels bad at all. And if it did I would tell you.”

Bambam nods slowly, considering. "You feel...I'm sorry I know this is a cliche - but do you feel any different?"

Jimin tries not to cackle because really they weren’t kidding about a cliche, but Bam's being careful with her and she doesn't want to tease them for it. Plus, not that she would ever admit it, but there's a tender little spot in the center of her chest that opened up the second they lied down together not even an hour ago and maybe...maybe she does need someone to be a little careful with her. "Not different.," she says, "But I'm just thinking..." Bambam "hms" in that way they always do. "Like I just feel like - wow - you know? I mean I don’t feel changed or some shit, but in general it’s a little...intense? So I’m glad that this wasn't with some asshole, that it was just you, you know?”

Bambam's fingers pause and they sigh - "oh god, I know" - and it's not sentimental from either of them, it's just the shared possibility that this weird thing, this good thing, this tender thing they've done together could have happened with someone else not as committed, not as caring, not as aware of them as they are for each other.

"But at the same time," Jimin continues, "it makes me sad because not everyone gets to have it like that. The choice, you know."

Bambam nods. "I know like. I'm glad it was between us too. I ...I thought I'd regret it maybe, but--"

Jimin pushes herself up so she's face to face with Bambam. "And you didn’t say anything?"

Bambam's eyes crinkle and they put their hand on hers. "No, not like that. I trust you a million times over and I wouldn't hide it from you if I was gonna back out. I just hoped everything would go okay, you know. Like I hoped we weren't being too idealistic. But we weren't...I...I felt good. And you felt good...?" Jimin nods, breathing a sigh of relief. "It was scary in some ways but that was okay too cause you were there I guess, you know. Still being you."

Bambam looks uncomfortable with the admission the same way they’ve always shied away from sentimentality so Jimin gives them a big hug, leans forward and wraps her arms around them and buries her nose in their hair. She loves Bambam.

So she says so, "I love you," and kisses the curve of their ear softly and the truth of it, the truth of her kiss, the truth of her arms around their slender shoulders, is so palpable she prays she doesn't make things more corny by crying. "Thank you for telling me that." She pulls back and looks into the dark dark brown of Bambam’s eyes, soft and searching. "And thank you for making me feel really fucking good, you asshole." She punches them in their arm and Bambam lets out a high pitched squeal because Bambam is fucking dramatic and she loves hearing it, loves seeing their silly fucking baby laugh in action again. It makes things feel a little less weird.

"I love you, now let me hit you? I can't believe this," they whine.

"Yes you can," she says, reclaiming her spot on their knee. Really, they’re too bony to use as a pillow but she wants to stay close, wants to feel their laugh and their words and smell that underlining trace of sweet cologne that clings to them these days. Bambam chuckles lowly and half heartedly punches her back in the same spot for retaliation.

"Stop being a butthead and toss me the blanket," she demands and they huff and puff but reach back anyway, grab the quilt from where it was kicked in between the wall and bed and throw it over her legs, careful to cover her feet too.

Season two of  _ Buffy _ is already pulled up on her laptop next to the bed so they set it up on a chair a few feet away and stay like that for two episodes until Bambam gets up to pee. While they’re gone, Jimin lies down flat on the bed, closes her eyes and doesn't think about the fact that the only thing covering her underneath the quilt is Bambam's shirt, only long enough to brush the very tops of her thighs. That sweet cologne clings to it too and she breathes it in realizing she's more wiped out than she realized, nearly falls asleep in the warm spot Bambam's left.

 

\--

 

It's 2AM and Jimin's not even sure what she's trying to prove here but she refuses to accept the possibility of Bambam - fucking  _ Bambam _ \- being stronger than her.

"Just --give --in" Bambam grunts out, breathless, and Jimin doesn't even acknowledge it because yeah fucking right, as  _ if _ . She might not have the arm strength they do as is obvious from the way the two of them are currently deadlocked -- fingers linked in the least affectionate way as Bambam tries to knock her off balance. But her legs have to be stronger, or her hips, whatever. Bambam’s taller and apparently Jackson finally convinced them to do a bit of weight-lifting but Jimin's wider, has more mass to her and a hell of a lot more determination to win. Bambam's not competitive is the thing. And usually she isn't either but the dismissive way they'd scoffed when she suggested that she could beat them in an arm wrestling match had ignited something in her and somehow arm wrestling had turned into full-on body wrestling when she in fact  _ had _ beat them and hadn't been able to stand their whining about how she'd supposedly cheated.

It's fun though, she must admit, even though she wants more than anything to crush Bambam and rub their face in it. It's fun because Bambam's fucking loud, unbelievably ticklish and therefore wiggly and because he's following her rule about not taking it easy on her and because it’s a different way of using her body, using their bodies.

She doesn't take it easy on Bambam either though, manages to flip them over her shoulder and lay them out on the floor although she takes just a second too long to gloat and ends up getting shoved over on her back and held down. It doesn't hurt her feelings too much though because of the way Bambam has to use their full body to keep her from moving. They weighs practically nothing so they really shouldn’t be this hard to push off but she’s at an awkward angle where she can't quite get leverage plus she's dangerously close to kneeing them in the dick which would be overboard. So she settles for grabbing a handful of Bambam’s ass - protected only by the thin material of their extravagantly patterned sleep pants they’ve been wearing around the house all day - and squeezes hard. It's sudden enough that Bambam yelps in surprise and releases their weight and she takes her chance to heave one shoulder into their chest hard enough to throw them off.

"OK OK," Bambam pants, landing back on his their on the floor and she halts pre-lunge. "One more second and my lung's gonna explode."

She grins triumphantly but doesn't tease them about it, satisfied enough that they were the first to call truce.

"I'll have mercy," she declares but eases the bite in her tone by lying flush up next to Bambam, her head resting on their sweaty bicep. They throws their leg over her hip and scoot closer and Jimin realizes now that she too is sweating, legs weak and arms aching from the back and forth struggle of the last fifteen minutes.

The two of them stay there and talk some, Jimin about her history teacher and the curiosities she has about maybe going into research later, Bambam talks about the sudden sweet tooth they’ve developed in the past few weeks even though they’ve never been much into candy. Jimin suggests ordering pizza but when Bambam looks through their phone, no place delivers late so they just end up microwaving mac ‘n cheese which seems to be good enough. They bring back some brightly colored sour taffy and they both eat that too, making each other giggle by making faces as the taffy refuses to break.

"I like when you wear these," Bam says, watching Jimin lick the sticky sugar from her thumb. It's odd the way they’ve been looking at her since the other night, not quite wanting in the way that makes her feel suffocated -- not hunger, but a curiosity, like Bambam’s exploring something about her. She likes it, likes the question in their roving eyes, lets herself be curious too, reaches for their hand and places it on her knee.

Bambam moves it down a little, up the side of her thigh then back down to the sensitive underside of her knee. They move closer and it puts Bambam between her knees, her legs bracketing their hips.

"What do you like about them?" she asks. Bambam sways their hips back and forth a little, playful, making her knees knock side to side too. The way Bambam’s got three fingers pressed against the underside of her knee, though, has her blood thrumming warm through her veins and it makes her want to push up against them, rub herself against their leg even if the silly grin their giving her is the same bratty one they always gives when they knows something about her she'd rather them shut up about.

"Dunno," Bambam says and their eyes seem to fall down to her neck momentarily. When they look back to her, their honesty is simple. "You just seem comfortable in them, maybe? And I like your calves. And like. Your ankles look pretty in them."

She blushes and nudges her knee into Bambam’s side as they laughs at themselves.

"I like them too," she says, assures them that it's corny sure but still appreciated, and she pulls them close for a kiss. They're in the same position they were the other night almost exactly but the kiss itself couldn't be any more different. Bambam is seemingly not so careful anymore but insistent with the way they against her lips, braver with accepting what they want from her. When it’s over, she lets her arms give out and lies back on the carpet and Bambam drapes their body over her, head pillowed on her breasts. She weaves her fingers in their hair, scratches at their scalp for a few moments, back and forth back and forth back and forth, then

"This color is pretty on you," she lets the peachy strands fll through the valleys of her fingers, "It makes the color of your face seem warmer.”

Her brows furrow when Bambam doesn't answer though -- Bambam is never one to stay silent after a compliment -- and realizes they must have fallen asleep.

"Bam-ah," she whispers and Bambam snuffles a little before their eyes flutter open before focusing on her. 

"How long was I asleep?"

"Not even a minute. But we should get into bed. My back'll be killing me if we fall asleep on this floor."

Bambam nods and the two of them help each other up from the floor, throw the plastic mac ‘n cheese containers in the trash along with the ripped open candy wrappers. Bambam turns off the light, blows out the two Midnight Stroll candles that have been burning all evening. Jimin grabs the spare quilt she's been cuddled up under over the course of the evening and they head to her bedroom.

 

\---

 

The first try was nice enough but this is something different. Maybe, it's the result of sharing so much physical space over the past two days, much of it in this bed or maybe it's the simple fact that it's not planned out this time but either way Jimin feels tears prick the corners of her eyes when Bambam circles their fingers around her entrance.

"Can I say something?" Bambam says, licking their lips, shining from where they’ve just kissed her so so softly.

"What?" and she doesn't mean to practically growl it, really, but it comes out like that, her mind so much more focused on the ghost of their touch.

"Promise not to hit me?"

She outright groans and not in the sexy way. "I'll hit you if you don't get back to it, you dick."

"Okay, just..." Bambam shakes their head, hair like a halo around their face but that might just be her wits leaving her one by one the longer they keeps her on edge like this. "Just, I was thinking. Yugyeom really doesn't know what he's missing, seeing you like this."

She freezes. Freezes because she hadn't been expecting that at all, freezes because she always loses total functionality when it comes to Yugyeom, freezes because Bambam's decided that was the perfect time to slide two fingers back inside her.

She does want to hit them for it but the best she can manage is a tight, "what the actual fuck Bam."

"I'm just saying..." Bambam says and they kiss her thigh and go slow, deliberate. She's torn, maneuvering their hand where she needs it and grappling with the image they just put in her mind. "haven't you thought of it...if...if you don’t mind me asking. This is okay right? Us talking about it.”

"I--" she whimpers, shifting her hips down a little - they're so close to brushing the right spot but not quite. "Yeah, I have. Yeah, it is.”

"Okay," Bambam says and it's low, patient, a little bit of that fucking curiosity again, "Tell me how you want it." She grabs their wrist, twists it a little so that the heel of their palm is pressed up tight against her the way she wants, lets her eyes flutter shut.

"But you--" she gasps before swallowing, trying to find her voice because she'll be damned if she's the only one suffereing here - "You do too, right? Think about him when you’re--"

"Yeah," Babam answers with no hesitation. "I do."

Jimin doesn't really know what they're doing here but she goes with it the way she's always went along with Bambam and their half cracked schemes, tells them what she can of the ways she's imagined Yugyeom, feels the strength of their hand, thanks whatever deity there is for Jackson and his damn weights and the way Bambam’s holding her tight around her thighs to keep her steady. Bambam asks her if she wants Yugyeom to do the same, to touch her the way they are and she does, she nods and holds on to Bambam’s shoulders for dear life as they bring her over the edge but all she thinks of, all she hears, to be honest, to be very honest--

is Bambam's voice. She curls her hand around them after and whispers how pretty they’d look with their lips wrapped around Yugyeom, what a shame it is that the other boy isn't there to see his best friend fall apart like this --

but she's thinking, too, how wild it is that she  _ is _ there to see it, to hold Bambam as they shake hard, feels like she's holding a butterfly - hers for only a moment, gentle, between her palms.

They kiss for a while after, catching their breath, blankets too hot but still wrapped around both of their shoulders, holding Bambam&Jimin together for just one more evening before it's Monday again, before they've got to go back to reality.

"You okay?" she asks when they pull apart and Bambam's switched on some music, from their phone but her favorite album. She didn't even know they had a copy. Bambam doesn't typically like this kind of thing, calls it "drifting music," and says it makes them sleepy. It does make her a little sad, actually, makes this time together feel like it's already a memory but the familiarity of the breathy, wandering, questioning vocals comforts her.

"I think so," they say, fingers gripping tight around her arm laid across his stomach like an anchor.

"You think about him a lot, huh?"

Bambam's brows stitch together and they look over at her, surprised. "I mean...yeah. Yeah. But it's not that?"

"You sure? If you're feeling sad, it's okay. I'm not going to take it personal--"

“I’m not,” they cup her cheek, kiss her quick and easy, “I’m not sad. He makes me sad sometimes, yeah, but--” They look back to the ceiling, considering, “It was nice. With you, it just felt good thinking about him, like when you have a really good dream and you wake up but you’re still kind of in the dream, you know?”

“God,” Jimin says, smiling because she loves the perfect way Bambam describes their feelings sometimes, the rare times when they’re not trying to avoid doing so by acting totally foolish.

“Yeah, I just. I don’t know, I’m glad we did this but I guess...I guess I wish it felt this easy with everyone. Like whoever...y’know, whoever comes across my path or whatever. I hope it feels this easy I guess.”

Jimin nods, squeezes Bambam around their middle. 

“I think it will, she says, hoping it doesn’t sound like empty optimism to them. She herself still isn’t sure if she wants anyone to come across her path in the way she knows Bambam means but she believes so fiercely in good things happening for them, in Bambam getting everything he wants. “For now we’ve got each other, right?”

Bambam doesn’t meet her eyes but they make that ridiculous face, roll their eyes up and stick their teeth out.

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’m trying to be comforting here,” she complains but she’s giggling, knows they’ve heard her.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, let me know what you think! 
> 
> Also just in case you're curious the song they listen to at the end is "47" by Sunny Day Real Estate.
> 
> and p.s. come visit me over on tumblr @ slowjamyoungjae :)


End file.
